The Queens Visit to Turkey.

The Queen: "What? UK concerned about your slaughter of the Kurds? I say, don't worry about that, we don't give a toss about the Kurds anyway. We were the first to gas them in Iraq, you know! You can kill as many as you like darling! We have some marvellous weapons we could let you have at an absolute bargain price, dear. I'll talk to my foreign minister for you. Could I possibly have some more of that delicious Baklava?"

Hayrunisa Gul: "Ay, canim benim! sen cok tatli, yaa!"

The Queen: "What?"

Hayrunisa Gul: "Oh, erm, thank you your majesty. Yes, I sometimes feel a little guilty, as a Muslim, because all they really want are their basic rights like language and culture. But we just call them 'terrorists' and we seem to get away with murder. We always have!"

The Queen: "Yes, jolly good trick, we did that with the Irish! Could you possibly pass me the sugar dear?"

Hayrunisa Gul: "But are the IRA not now involved in government now, your majesty?"

The Queen: "What? Oh bloody hell, so they are! What's the hot drink in this glass?"

Hayrunisa Gul: "Erm, tea, your majesty!"

The Queen: "How the hell is one supposed to drink it. Its so bloody hot, I can't hold the glass!"

Hayrunisa Gul: "Ay, canim benim, sen cok tatli, yaaa!"

The Queen: "What?"

Hayrunisa Gul: "Your sweet!"

The Queen: "Sweets? Yes, I'll have some of those jelly ones with powder on them, lovely!"